Ill

You might have noticed this blog has been a little quiet over the last week. I’ve been trying to fight off this infernal cold bug that’s going around, but it’s currently winning.

I’m going to write off this weekend and try and get some sleep, but suffice to say there’s tons of stuff I want to write about including new interview subjects, my first Birmingham Post column (which doesn’t appear to be online), the future (or not) of newspapers and the image of Birmingham.

Smiling

So there I was, 10pm on the bus back from town. Lousy day, under the weather and late. I guess I was looking pretty miserable

In fact, everyone on the bus was looking miserable.

Then a group of teenage girls got on. As the rest of them went up to the top deck, one of them – clean-cut pretty, long brown hair, Moseley clothes – turned around and exclaimed:

“God! The people on the bus look so miserable. It depresses me!”
“Guys! You give England a bad name. You don’t want people to think the English are miserable?
“Come on, be patriotic. Give us a smile. Do it for England!”

And, well… most of us did.

Fort Dunlop

One of M Moser's office designsOK, while we’re on the subject of the trials and tribulations of media organisations, you may be aware that the Post & Mail management team recently departed.

Before they went on their way, they emailed us an update on Fort Dunlop, which I thought I’d share here:

We confirmed last week that the departments based in the Birmingham office in Weaman Street will relocate next summer to the Fort Dunlop development.

You will have seen I am sure some of the coverage in our own titles, and wish to know more about the move and its implications for you and your colleaguesWe have signed the lease on the entire top floor, some 53,000 sq. ft. of open plan office space, which at an acre is the largest single open plan office in the country outside of London.

The design is incredibly modern and comes with 24-hour access, security, on-site parking and a bus service. This is a free, dedicated Fort Dunlop service that will pick up and drop off at stations and other main locations in Birmingham city centre.

You will probably have seen the 100 bedroom hotel let to Travelodge, on the side of the main building when passing. On the ground are a Daily Grind Coffee coffee house, Vinappris Wine Bar, The Flower Room florist and a Funky Monkeys kids activity centre. It also boasts a 150m roof garden expanding the length of the building. Coming soon to Fort Dunlop will be a Select convenience store, a gym and a nursery.

We have agreed with the developer, Urban Splash, that staff can be shown around our floor in small groups prior to the time of moving. However, now that building works have begun to prepare our floor for habitation, visits will commence in the New Year.

You can of course visit the building in your own time when you will be able to see and access the ground floor facilities mentioned above.

Design Consultants, M Moser Associates, will be working with us helping us make the most of our new space in terms of the environment, personal space and furniture requirements.We know that there are lots of questions to be answered about workspace, shifts, equipment and not least, travel, transport and parking.

We will, over the coming weeks and months, address everything you want and need to know. We do, however, ask you to be patient if we don’t have all the answers until further into the planning stages and nearer the time of the move.

We are very excited about Fort Dunlop and we are sure you will be too, especially when you have visited the building. On seeing the space we will occupy and the enormous opportunity it creates for a change in atmosphere and culture of an office, we hope you will be encouraged by the significant benefits of this move.

So… there you go. Thoughts?

Answers: Roger Cook

Argh! In a stroke of major misfortune, I am stuck at home with a stinking cold for most of today and so, to my great disappointment, was unable to meet Roger in person. Gutted.

I did, however, have a very interesting chat with him over the phone. He has a very dry sense of humour.

On calling his hotel room:

Me: Hello, is that Roger Cook?
RC: No, it’s the bogeyman. Of course it’s Roger Cook, who else is it going to be? 

And that’s how it started. It is also how it continued, with me occasionally being chided for my lack of wit. (A fair and just accusation.) 

It cheered me up, which is no mean feat when I’m under the weather. (Usually I get stupidly maudlin. A bout of flu once had me weeping at an episode of Pet Rescue.)

I will use a lot of the interview for a 600-word piece for the Media & Marketing page on Monday.

However, to answer Bounder’s question:

RC: It’s a bit of an accolade to be parodied. In total I have been parodied 23 times – yes I have counted them.  The first time was on Not the Nine O’Clock News by Mel Smith. It was hysterical.

I was also parodied by Spitting Image three times. Two of the times they weren’t very funny – one had two puppets of me and I was beating myself up. That’s just ridiculous as I never beat anybody up on The Cook Report. They also gave me a terrible brash Australian accent.

The third was really good. It was me doorstopping God, accusing him of selling the Holy Land as a timeshare to the Muslims and the Jews. That was very funny, but I think with Spitting Image most of the talent was in making the puppets, not in the writing.

 

Obesity Kills Polar Bears?

In his infinite wisdom, health secretary Alan Johnson has said obesity is potentially as great a threat as climate change.

Now I must be terribly ill-informed because I hadn’t realised that, in addition to causing death, obesity had the potential to create hundreds of thousands of refugees, the extinction of plant and animal life (is that because we will eat them?!) and change the topographical face of the planet as we know it.

I guess I’ve underestimated obesity.